Tag Archives: family culture

Your Family Culture Can Be a Shining Star!

February 10, 2015

Your Family Culture can be imagined as a five-pointed star: the first four points ( the arms and legs of the star ) make a foundation for Discipline, the “head” of the star.  Think about it like this:

Point One:  Family Rhythm ~~   Create daily and weekly rhythms that are simple, slow and nourishing.  Slow down and let your whole family b-r-e-a-t-h-e!  Set your goal to  celebrate yearly festivals in a conscious, non-rushed or media-influenced way.

Point Two: Family Work and Family Play ~~ Model for your child work-sharing:  show them the “how-tos”  in accomplishing the work-load a family requires.  Remember:  slowly over the years,  hand more and more responsibility to them, as they develop more capacity.   But don’t forget that families need to Play!  Think of weekly play-together days and yearly get-aways for play!

Point Three: Children’s Art and Stories ~~ Give your child plenty of time and space for artistic exploration.  No, you don’t need to enroll her in art classes, just make simple open-ended art materials available for her self expression: crayons ( buy 100% organic beeswax Filana crayons! ) paper, watercolor paint, modeling material, scissors, tissue paper, glue; you get the idea?   And remember good stories are nourishment for the imagination, just like good food nourishes the body!

Point Four:  Child’s Play ~~ Be sure your indoor play-space is full of imaginative possibilities.  Choose toys and play materials that are open-ended.  If the toy “plays itself” or talks to your child, it is not open-ended enough.  Think of old-fashioned toys:  wooden blocks, simple soft dolls, child sized kitchen toys, dress-ups, wooden wagons and plenty of empty baskets.  Empty boxes, as we all know, are the very best!  Be sure your outdoor space has plenty of exploratory possibilities!

Point Five: Discipline ~~  When all of the above are well taken care of, many discipline problems disappear.  What to do when all is in-order and discipline is still needed? The watchwords here are Firm and Kind!  Use simple non-emotional statements.  Breathe slowly, settle into your heart-space, speak slowly.  Allow yourself to “slip inside your child’s skin”, to understand the situation from their point of view.  With this insight, firmly and kindly insist.  You can do this, and you will love it!

I will be at The River Valley Waldorf School in Upper Black Eddy, Pennsylvania this Friday night talking about Family Culture.  Join us there!    www.rivervalleyschool.org  610-982-5606

 

SO-Postcard-Front-Feb-2015

Also tagged , , , , , , , , , – No Comments

Heart of Discipline Conference in North Carolina

February 23, 2013

Next weekend I will be in North Carolina for this wonderful conference.  Join us there!

Also tagged , , – No Comments

Freedom Tethered by Relationship

February 3, 2013


One of The Rose Garden parents sent me this photo yesterday.  The exquisite beauty of the young child’s connection to nature is so evident:  these brothers are free and at-large in the woods….living a life larger than the confines of their small bodies.  They are as large as their own imaginations, at home in the forest.  I am reminded of something I wrote years ago, as I prepared to write Heaven on Earth:

 

“I have found in my many years of teaching young children, and in my years as a mother of young boys, that most children are happiest at play outdoors. Young children are close to the realm of nature because they are still very natural beings. Because their consciousness is not yet separated from the environment, because they still live in the consciousness of oneness, of unity, they belong still to the natural world. In time they will belong to themselves, as the process of individuation becomes complete. But for about the first seven years, they are still at one with the world they inhabit. The process of separating from the parents and from the environment buds only around age seven. Before that, the child is moved along by life, something like the way a tree’s leaves dance in the breeze. The young child responds to the environment in a very unself-conscious way, a very natural way, and the open, complex, and diverse environment of the outdoors gives him that opportunity. If, in his excitement at a butterfly, he needs to dance and pirouette dizzyingly around the garden, no one has to say, “Be careful of the table.” If he needs to shout for glee or weep for sorrow, he is free.”

 

Through play in the natural world, we give our child the gift of freedom, tethered by and rooted in a deep visceral relationship.   Is that not the fundamental balance humanity strives for?   Such joy!

 

Also tagged , , , , , , , , , , , – No Comments

The Gift

May 1, 2010

The single best gift a parent can give their children is to be attuned to them, to know what it feels like inside their skin, and to respond interactively from this “knowing.” The only way the child can learn to know who they are is by having been “known” in this way by a parent. The only way a child can “see themselves” is by looking into the mirror of the parents’ heart, and see themselves reflected back. The greatest gift we can give our child is to carry this question in our hearts: “who is this soul, and who will they grow to become?” We carry this question with open wonder, attuning to them and helping to inform their human experience. Eventually as a young adult they can begin to carry this very most human question by themselves “Who am I?” By your loving presence, you help to shape the answer.

Also tagged , , , , , , – No Comments

Family Culture

March 9, 2010

Our family is the container, the safe space in which young souls are cultivated. They grow in this atmosphere, with the mixture of necessary elements. When they know themselves well enough, they step outside the family, into the strong wind of their own life.
I believe there is one central task that each parent is given with the birth of his or her child. This is to carry for the child, until he can carry for himself, the fundamental human question, “Who am I?” When we look into our beloved child’s face, we can look down the long corridor of his life, inquiring who the man will be. As parents, we certainly will see particular characteristics, tendencies, in our child. We will offer much love and effort in guiding these inclinations in the right direction. But this work must be done in secret, veiled from the child. Our goal is to have the young adult step into this “self-making” with freedom. We foster freedom by holding open the question, “Who are you?” The container of the family is the vessel in which we carry this question

Also tagged , , , , , – No Comments

Create Your Family Culture

January 9, 2009

Join Sharifa Oppenheimer this summer!

Create Your Family Culture

    Or How to Live your Values amidst the Rising Tide of Commercialism

A Summer Camp for Families with Young Children
July 27th – 31, 2009 Monday – Friday

DESCRIPTION

Parents of young children will  begin to explore the regeneration of 21st century family life.  You will envision the “Star” of your family’s culture, studying deeply your own family’s rhythm, your family’s work together and play together. You will inquire into your child’s life, looking carefully at art, stories and the nature of play itself. The complex and often confusing questions of discipline will be discussed, beginning with your own sense of discipline. You will learn the fine balance of both protecting your children from the effects of this 21st century highly media-saturated culture, while also preparing them as young adults, to step into their world with courage, hope and commitment. read more »

Also tagged , , , , , , , , , – No Comments